"Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change." - Brene Brown

 

The goal is to learn to recognize when we are experiencing shame quickly enough to prevent ourselves from lashing out at those around us.” -Brené Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame 

 

This is more of a Suggested Person, rather than a Suggested Read. If you haven’t already heard of Brené Brown, I strongly recommend exploring one of her many portals (books, articles, ted talks, etc).

 

Even reading a few of her quotes has the potential to open a small window of helpful awareness. Brené Brown introduces a whole new way of understanding the meaning and role of Shame in our lives, and how the ability to talk about it openly has healing potential. She invites us:

 

  •  To explore, understand and have compassion for our deepest un-desired selves (rather than try to ignore or hide these parts of ourselves)
  • Get curious about (rather than judge) our reactions; the ones we wish we could take back time after time
  • To discover what is triggering unwanted behavior; the behavior in ourselves we beat up mercilessly (rather than assume we must be inherently “bad” or “wrong”)
  •  To re-story unwanted personality traits: the ones we think are hopelessly just who we ARE.

If I could wish a top 40 radio station to play over and over in the heads of humanity, it would be the wise and courageous messages of Brené Brown.

 

Here is a worksheet by Brené Brown that helps you start an exploration of your own shame triggers. It is, of course, natural to want to ignore and hide from these triggers as they make us feel badly. Unfortunately, this doesn’t make them go away. Ironically, it is the very process of becoming compassionate of, and open to, our shame triggers, which in turn, may lead to a resilience to them.
 

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